October is here with lots of leaves in all kinds of colors, cozy sweaters and endless cups of warm tea or cocoa.
But it’s also a time when life can feel a bit overwhelming, when the days grow shorter and rain and wind can spoil the evenings and nights.
So to lighten the mood and help you release a bit of stress I’d like to share 45 of the most witty, positive, sarcastic and funny October quotes.
I hope you’ll find something here to make this a fun month and your Halloween a happy celebration.
Funny October Quotes That Will Make You Smile
“Bittersweet October. The mellow, messy, leaf-kicking, perfect pause between the opposing miseries of summer and winter.”
– Carol Bishop Hipps
“During the day, I don’t believe in ghosts. At night, I’m a little more open-minded.”
– Unknown
“Some say fall is the season when the leaves change. I say it’s the season when my sweat pants never change.”
– Katie Nicole Felton
“I long for the days of pumpkins and ghosts; when the dead use homes and people as hosts.”
– E. Reyes
“If you’re ever wondering what to wear, just dress like a pumpkin, you’re good to go.”
– Devendra Banhart
“October was always the least dependable of months… full of ghosts and shadows.”
– Joy Fielding
“I wish that every day was Saturday and every month was October.”
– Charmaine J. Forde
“Chicago is an October sort of city, even in spring.”
– Nelson Algren
“October proved a riot to the senses and climaxed those giddy last weeks before Halloween.”
– Keith Donohue
“I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”
– Lucy Maud Montgomery
“I have been younger in October than in all the months of spring.”
– W.S. Merwin
“It’s like summer wear the world out, and by October everyone is just ready for a nap.”
– Ta-Nehisi Coates
Funny and Sarcastic October Quotes for a Happy Halloween
“Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, ‘Never take candy from strangers.’ And then they dressed me up and said, ‘Go beg for it.’”
– Rita Rudner
“Halloween is right around the corner. You can tell because all the stores are decked out for Christmas.”
– Stephen Colbert
“I see my face in the mirror and go, ‘I’m a Halloween costume? That’s what they think of me?’”
– Drew Carey
“A person should always choose a costume which is in direct contrast to her own personality.”
– Lucy Van Pelt
“I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color.”
– Wednesday Addams
“On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
“As a kid, Halloween was amazing. You dress like a superhero, you bang on your neighbor’s door and they give you candy. I do that today and my neighbor wants me arrested.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“This Halloween the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.”
– Conan O’Brien
“Halloween is the only time people can become what they want to be without getting fired.”
– Sylvester Stallone
“If you want to scare your boyfriend next Halloween, come dressed as what he fears most. Commitment.”
– Peter Nelson
“If human beings had genuine courage, they’d wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween.”
– Douglas Copeland
“It’s all just a bunch of hocus pocus.”
– Max (from the movie Hocus Pocus)
“Clothes make a statement. Costumes tell a story.”
– Mason Cooley
“I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everyone else.”
– Wednesday Addams
“Have you come to sing pumpkin carols?”
– Linus (from the movie It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown)
“It’s Halloween; everyone’s entitled to one good scare.”
– Brackett (from the movie Halloween)
“Every October I’m kidnapped and forced to scare birds at a local pumpkin patch.”
– Conan O’Brien
“The farther we’ve gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we’ve come to need Halloween.”
– Paula Guran
“Kinda spooky that Halloween has never fallen on Friday the 13th.”
– Stephen Colbert
Witty and Hilarious October Quotes for a Fun Fall
“I would rather sit on a pumpkin, and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion.”
– Henry David Thoreau
“For anyone who lives in the oak-and-maple area of New England, there is a perennial temptation to plunge into a purple sea of adjectives about October.”
– Hal Borland
“Autumn is a season followed immediately by looking forward to spring.”
– Doug Larson
“It’s the first day of autumn! A time of hot chocolatey mornings, and toasty marshmallow evenings, and, best of all, leaping into leaves!”
– Winnie the Pooh
“My Halloween costume was so bad that people opened their doors and took candy from me.”
– Glen Nesbit
“Summer makes me drowsy. Autumn makes me sing. Winter’s pretty lousy, but I hate Spring.”
– Dorothy Parker
“The autumn wind is a pirate. Blustering in from sea with a rollicking song he sweeps along swaggering boisterously.”
– Steve Sabol
“In autumn, don’t go to jewelers to see gold; go to the parks!”
– Mehmet Murat Ildan
“It’s like going back to school. You know, autumn! Time for ‘Harry Potter’.”
– Robbie Coltrane
“Halloween is huge in my house and we really get into the ‘spirits’ of things.”
– Dee Snider
“October gave a party; The leaves by hundreds came, The Chestnuts, Oaks, and Maples, And leaves of every name. The Sunshine spread a carpet, And everything was grand, Miss Weather led the dancing, Professor Wind the band.”
– George Cooper
“Anyone could see that the wind was a special wind this night, and the darkness took on a special feel because it was All Hallows’ Eve.”
– Ray Bradbury
“Falling for autumn and not getting up.”
– Unknown
“Every day is Halloween, isn’t it? For some of us.”
– Tim Burton
Want more inspiration for a fun and happy fall? Then have a look at these short October quotes, the funny Halloween quotes in this post and also these inspirational October quotes. Plus, these funny fall quotes.