Halloween is a time to let loose a little and have fun, perhaps even at work for a bit.
And to help you with that I’d like to share 75 of the most funny, spooky and positive Halloween quotes for work.
Use one or a few of your favorites in a card, an email or group chat or maybe during your office celebrations.
I hope you’ll find something here to make Halloween a fun and happy time for you and your co-workers.
Funny Halloween Quotes for Work
“Halloween is the only time people can become what they want to be without getting fired.”
– Sylvester Stallone
“Was deciding if I should dress as Batman or Spider-Man for Halloween, when I realized I’m a grown man. So, Batman.”
– Stephen Colbert
“Darkness doesn’t scare me, my inbox does.”
– Unknown
“So apparently no one dresses up for Halloween here. I wish I had known that before I used greasepaint for my moustache.”
– Pam Beesly (from the TV-show The Office)
“During the day, I don’t believe in ghosts. At night, I’m a little more open-minded.”
– Unknown
“My Halloween costume is Godot. I’m not showing up at the party, just texting the host every 10 minutes that I’m on my way.”
– Wynne McLaughlin
“This Halloween I’m going as a human disaster; that way I don’t have to get dressed up.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“I’m not undead, I’m just overworked and underpaid.”
– Unknown
“Little tip: when you show up to a Halloween party not dressed up, it’s the same as showing up to a normal party in a costume.”
– Josh Groban
“Halloween is right around the corner. You can tell because all the stores are decked out for Christmas.”
– Stephen Colbert
“For Halloween, I’m going as that feeling you get at a store when you try to refold a sweater properly and put it back on the shelf.”
– Rob Delaney
“My Halloween costume was so bad that people opened their doors and took candy from me.”
– Glen Nesbit
“It’s that special time of year where we voluntarily imbibe pumpkin-spiced lattes: the coffee that tastes like a candle.”
– John Oliver
“As a kid, Halloween was amazing. You dress like a superhero, you bang on your neighbor’s door, and they give you candy. I do that today, and my neighbor wants me arrested.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“I make it a rule never to get involved with possessed people.”
– Dr. Peter Venkman (from the movie Ghostbusters)
“I’m just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family. It’s just, I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade.”
– Morticia Addams (from the movie Addams Family Values)
“If the ghost of a murdered girl really existed, I think she’d have something better to do than haunt people who don’t forward chain emails.”
– Rhys James
“The suspense is terrible. I hope it’ll last.”
– Willy Wonka (from the book Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory)
“Just put on my Halloween costume! This year I’m going as ‘Guy Who Thinks Halloween Is on October 18th.’”
– Stephen Colbert
“Some people are born for Halloween, and some are just counting the days until Christmas.”
– Stephen Graham Jones
“A person should always choose a costume which is in direct contrast to her own personality.”
– Lucy Van Pelt (from the movie It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown)
“My costume this year? A responsible adult.”
– Unknown
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself… and spiders.”
– Unknown
Spooky Halloween Quotes and Sayings for Work
“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.”
– H.P. Lovecraft
“Every day is Halloween, isn’t it? For some of us.”
– Tim Burton
“Hell is empty and all the devils are here.”
– William Shakespeare, The Tempest
“Am I walking toward something I should be running away from?”
– Shirley Jackson (from the TV-show The Haunting of Hill House)
“Believe nothing you hear, and only one half that you see.”
– Edgar Allan Poe
“Where there is no imagination, there is no horror.”
– Arthur Conan Doyle
“Villainy wears many masks, none so dangerous as the mask of virtue.”
– Ichabod Crane (from the movie Sleepy Hollow)
“We make up horrors to help us cope with the real ones.”
– Stephen King
“Listen to them – the children of the night. What music they make!”
– Bram Stoker
“There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.”
– George Carlin
“It’s Halloween; everyone’s entitled to one good scare.”
– Sheriff Leigh Brackett (from the movie Halloween)
“Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain.”
– J.K. Rowling
“I’ve seen enough horror movies to know that any weirdo wearing a mask is never friendly.”
– Elizabeth (from the movie Friday the 13th Part VI)
“Double, double toil and trouble; fire burn, and cauldron bubble.”
– William Shakespeare, Macbeth
“It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain; but once conceived, it haunted me day and night.”
– Edgar Allan Poe (from the book The Tell-Tale Heart)
“I must go in. The fog is rising.”
– Emily Dickinson
“By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.”
– William Shakespeare, Macbeth
“From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver us!”
– Scottish Saying
Witty and Somewhat Motivational Halloween Quotes for the Workplace
“If human beings had genuine courage, they’d wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween.”
– Douglas Coupland
“Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.”
– Bill Watterson
“Halloween is not only about putting on a costume, but it’s about finding the imagination and costume within ourselves.”
– Elvis Duran
“There is a child in every one of us who is still a trick-or-treater looking for a brightly lit front porch.”
– Robert Brault
“Magic is really very simple. All you’ve got to do is want something and then let yourself have it.”
– Aggie Cromwell (from the movie Halloweentown)
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt
“Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative.”
– Judy Gold
“It’s as much fun to scare as to be scared.”
– Vincent Price
“On Halloween, you get to become anything that you want to be.”
– Ava Dellaira
“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”
– Marie Curie
“The farther we’ve gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we’ve come to need Halloween.”
– Paula Guran
“Fear is the relinquishment of logic, the willing relinquishing of reasonable patterns. We yield to it or we fight it, but we cannot meet it halfway.”
– Shirley Jackson (from the TV-show The Haunting of Hill House)
“There is nothing that gives more assurance than a mask.”
– Colette
“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.”
– Mark Twain
“The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
– Nelson Mandela
“And that’s when I realized, when you’re a kid you don’t need a costume, you ARE Superman.”
– Jerry Seinfeld
Short Halloween Quotes for Work, Co-Workers and Cards
“I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color.”
– Wednesday Addams (from the movie The Addams Family)
“Witch parking. All others will be toad.”
– Unknown
“I go for a look which I call ‘dead but delicious.’”
– Vladislav (from the movie What We Do in the Shadows)
“It’s a full moon tonight. That’s why all the weirdos are out.”
– Dani (from the movie Hocus Pocus)
“Hocus pocus, time to focus.”
– Unknown
“I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”
– L.M. Montgomery
“It’s showtime!”
– Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice
“You rang?”
– Lurch (from the movie The Addams Family)
“A mask tells us more than a face.”
– Oscar Wilde
“Clothes make a statement. Costumes tell a story.”
– Mason Cooley
“Never trust the living.”
– Beetlejuice
“This witch can be bribed with chocolate.”
– Unknown
“Keep calm and carry a wand.”
– A.W. Jantha
“Be afraid. Be very afraid.”
– Ronnie, The Fly
“Happy Halloween to all, and to all a good fright.”
– Hubie Dubois (from the movie Hubie Halloween)
“Have you come to sing pumpkin carols?”
– Linus (from the movie It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown)
“Being normal is vastly overrated.”
– Aggie Cromwell (from the movie Halloweentown)
“Nothing on Earth is so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.”
– Steve Almond
Want more inspiration for Halloween? Then have a look at these funny Halloween quotes, the short Halloween quotes and sayings here and also this one with the best Halloween quotes.