If you feel as though you suffer with low self-esteem and confidence, you’re not alone; there are so many people who feel the same, and I used to also suffer with this myself, until I saw something different. However, there is total freedom from this, when we learn to tune into the wisdom that is within us all along – after all, how can we not be perfect when we are created from nature? Essential oils offer us perhaps the most perfect reminder of this – not only because there are so many oils that have properties which can boost our self-esteem and confidence, but the very ritual of using them gifts us time to really tune in and get present with ourselves! That, and the fact that the oils come from plant extracts, which is wisdom in action itself in nature – means you couldn’t really get much greater a reminder that we are magic in action! And if we are magic, then how can we feel anything less?
So, in this blog, and especially at a time where the world has gone a little crazy and we are trying to adapt, we are going to be exploring – both the oils that can help us remember who we really are and remind us of our true confidence – and also the idea of creating space for ourselves to really reconnect with our true potential. In my coaching, I call this process one of ‘self-rediscovery’ because really, we are simply rediscovering the possibility that is already within us, but sometimes we just can’t see when we are caught in our beliefs!
The myth of self-esteem and confidence
I love essential oils, because when you think about their magnificence, it reminds us that nature just knows. How is it that nature just readily grows us exactly what is needed? Like how it grows a ‘dock’ leaf right next to a stinging nettle, when that is the remedy for our stings? There are so many amazing symbiotic partnerships in nature, that it really shows the wisdom and intelligence behind life – and essential oils offer us exactly the same; a form of natural healing that just grows itself, which we can simply tap into. The same wisdom is within us, all the time – we just forget from time to time, and this is the key to overcoming many of our issues! For, really, any ‘lack’ of self-esteem and self-confidence is just our own inbuilt wisdom being clouded by our thoughts that we are not made of the same beauty as nature! And we are!
Using aromatherapy for nourishing your space
So, that aside – as you don’t really need to figure that out – what are some practical things you can do to gift yourself the tuning back into your self-esteem and confidence? Well, of course, carving out some time to play with essential oils is always perfect, because not only do they offer you the beautiful opportunity to create some space for yourself to nurture and nourish your mind, body and soul, but there are also some wonderful oils that can specifically boost your esteem and confidence. Using oils when we are feeling low in confidence can offer us a little bit of a time-out to reconnect with ourselves, ask ourselves if our beliefs are really true, and remember our real self-worth! So, once we have covered the main essential oils with properties to help us do this, we will dive into how we can use these to cultivate a little bit of self-love!
10 essential oils for self-esteem and confidence
- Bergamot is a beautiful oil for boosting esteem and confidence as it is relaxing and calming and lifts the spirits. In particular it is wonderful for those ‘anxious’ feelings associated with low confidence and self-esteem, as when we are walking round in beliefs that we aren’t enough, we do tend to feel a little bit of anxiety.
- Cedarwood is not only calming in times of nervousness, but it instils courage and reminds you of your inner strength. Again, it is grounding in your own wisdom, and will remind you of your true capacity to be all that you are!
- Cypress is the oil for restoring calm in the midst of nervousness and negative emotions. Perfect for times of upheaval, it helps you refocus your attention, and can be a good one to help you tune back into your truth when you can only see yourself as ‘lacking’.
- Jasmine is a powerful anti-depressant and is one of the best oils for helping people who lack confidence. It supports decision-making and optimism – and is perfect if your self-esteem and confidence worries are exhausting you as it restores harmony.
- Patchouli is soothing and centring and great for stopping ‘mental chatter’ in its tracks, whilst also reminding you of the grounding wisdom of the earth. A wonderful oil for self-esteem and confidence.
- Rose is so nurturing and soothing. Great for all mental-emotional struggles, it is one of those oils that will beautifully drop you back into your heart, rather than allowing you to stay in your head thinking all those self-destructive thoughts!
- Rosemary is a great oil for focus, which can support in times where you need to make a decision about direction. It is uplifting and can help you take action when you’re not feeling so confident.
- Sandalwood is the oil of tranquillity – and helps ease any frustration, whilst quietening the mind to help you see the truth, rather than believe your thinking. Beneficial for when you need some nurturing and a reminder that you are okay, it is beautifully relaxing yet also uplifting.
- Sweet Orange is an uplifting oil which not only helps lift you if you are feeling low with your beliefs, but it relaxes you are the same time! It is a great oil to raise your spirits.
- Ylang Ylang is a beautiful oil for treating depression, nervousness, anxiety, stress, fear and anger – so it is a powerful one for strong emotions linked to self-esteem and confidence.
These oils are really just a selection of the many aromatherapy oils that can support you when you’re lacking confidence – and the trick is to really begin to sense into which ones you feel drawn to for yourself. In tuning more deeply into your own senses, you’ll get a feel for your wisdom as you notice that even your nose knows which oils you desire! Our bodies, and our minds, are so clever when we allow them to guide us. Let your wisdom lead as you select your oils…
Aromatherapy blends for self-esteem and confidence
Now we’ve discussed some of the best oils to use, it is simply about putting them into some recipes to use so that you can carve out that time and tune in to yourself. For this reason, I’d suggest using the following ‘pampering’ blends to allow yourself a little bit of love and self-care – for in this space, you’re more likely to notice how wonderful you really are! My advice is to alternate between one of these each day for a week and observe how carving out this time helps you to begin to see something different…
Kindness massage
When we are caught in our thinking about how rubbish or unworthy we are, the first step is really to allow ourselves a little more kindness – as it is usually us that is beating ourselves up! We have to go gently when we feel like this. Step back and allow yourself some love – and open to the possibility that you deserve it!
I’d invite you to substitute your own desired essential oils into this blend (using the same recommended number of drops of essential oils to carrier oil), but here’s a beautiful blend to start you off:
Mix 3 drops Patchouli, 2 drops Rose, and 1 drop Ylang Ylang into 15ml of Grapeseed oil, and stir well. Use this blend to gentle sense into where you feel tension in your body, and massage these areas gently, with love and kindness for yourself. Allow yourself this pleasure, and the space to see something new about who you really are. Always apply oil in the direction towards the heart.
Miracle bath bliss
It can be a stressful thing when we are caught in our heads about how unconfident and lacking in self-esteem we are. So, again, offer yourself a little time-out with a beautiful bath. The more space we gift ourselves, the more we begin to listen a little deeper and may get a glimpse of the miracle of who we really are, beyond our negative thinking.
Again, please sense into which oils are for you in this blend, and substitute accordingly:
Run a warm bath and as you are doing so, mix 3 drops Sandalwood, 3 drops Sweet Orange and 1 drop Jasmine into 15ml of Bath Oil or Bath & Shower Gel, ready to pour into your running water. As you lie back, allow yourself to notice all the thoughts that come in, and how they don’t really mean anything. Perhaps you might even glimpse some exciting thoughts about what you want from life, and allow yourself to dream a little! And don’t worry, even if your thoughts are about your esteem and confidence, just let them be there, knowing that they aren’t really who you are – because you are full of wisdom. It’s okay if you can’t see that, just allow them to be there.
Truth sensing diffusion
As you sink a little more into being kinder to yourself and offering space, you might notice that some different ideas surface about your true possibility and potential – your true confidence and esteem. The activity with this blend is really a little bit of a meditation to allow yourself to dream. Put your diffuser on, and create some space for yourself to dream a little about what you’d love life to look like, either day dreaming whilst sitting quietly, or even visualising and journalling.
Again, please sense into which oils are for you in this blend, and substitute accordingly:
Put 4 drops Cedarwood, 2 drops Cypress and 1 drop Rosemary your diffuser or candle burner and allow yourself to sit comfortably and quietly. Let yourself dream about what you’d love to create, and visualise yourself as your true possibility!
Overall, the opportunity is there to allow yourself to begin to see beyond the thinking you have that prevents you from seeing your true potential, and the more you tune into your senses and see your own wisdom, and how supportive nature is in this process, the more self-esteem and confidence you’ll rediscover. Enjoy playing with your essential oils!
Nicole Barton
Consultant Aromatherapist
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